Monday, May 19

When I send all my doubts and demons on their way...

So, I've decided that I am no longer letting people tell me what I can and can not do. Someone told me I wouldn't be able to pull of getting NYSSMA together on the day it was. I did. and even though I didn't get the score I would have liked to get, I still did it. Rather than letting it go, I did what I said I would do. And god damn, I will again. I want so many things, and up until recently, I've really just gotten them without working for them. Well the things I want now, are a bit harder to obtain, but I intend to get them.

Someone once said to me, that once you realize life is hard, everything seems easier, and although I may not agree to the fullest extent, I do agree a bit.

I am hurt, emotionally, what has happened has been a blow to my heart no doubt, but fuck it. I can't live in a "Philadelphia" forever.


I will learn it. I will get in. I won't take no for an answer. =]

And, as for him dating someone, I'm happy for him. I care about him, I always will, but I'm not going to be upset that he's moving on. I am too. =D

About Me

I'm Bonnie. I'm a lover and a fighter. I have trust issues. I love to have fun. I am not quite up to par in anything. Oh, well. I'll try /almost/ anything at least once. I can't swim well. I love music. I love the smell of books. I am green. I'm in love. I play video games, like all the time. I'm addicted to the computer. I love my friends. I'm not a good person. I lie, and I am way too stubborn. I don't think before I speak. I actually DO care about Darfur. I want to help people. I love life. I have problems, and I know that. I won't tell you I understand if I don't. Life is hard, but people can make it easier. I believe that if we all did one good deed a day, everyone's lives would be easier. I want to make changes in the world for good. I can take you to another place, and point of view without meaning to. I do value the opinions of others. What you think about me DOES make a difference. I love animals. I love one-of-a-kind jewelry. I'm easy to please, and easy to piss off. Get to know me. Oh, and I'm Jewish. I know who I am. You don't need to tell me. I'm not a good person, I constantly cut down everything other people say, I have an arrogant air to me, and I think I know everything. I'm trying to change. So, please, let me take it a day at a time, and stop telling me how terrible I am. I can't take it anymore. K THANKS BYE.