Thursday, October 4
Death of mine.

I can honestly say that I have never felt more empty or dead inside then I have these past few months. Not to say, that I don't hide it well.

I'm doing okay in school, not to great, not too bad, but still...empty.

I miss Darlington with my whole soul. I think I'm going to reapply for next year, because honestly, I think I may kill myself if I continue to live here. My mom and I fight constantly, I hate school, I don't have many friends, and everyone thinks I'm some pretentious bitch from some amazing private school, which may be the case.

I'm currently grounded for two weeks, which would be completely fine with me, considering I have no life, if I weren't signed up to go to homecoming next weekend.

I really, honestly feel like dying, there is this huge whole in me where my heart seems to be missing from. I don't understand why this is. Everything is so hard, and not really physically or scholastically, but every little thing is killing my insides. I just, really feel dead on the inside, so why not physically die too.


No one would miss me anyway.

My own mom hates me. What a wretched child.



Well. I hope I die tonight, because, lately, death seems like a pretty alright escape.

6:28 PM

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About Me

I'm Bonnie. I'm a lover and a fighter. I have trust issues. I love to have fun. I am not quite up to par in anything. Oh, well. I'll try /almost/ anything at least once. I can't swim well. I love music. I love the smell of books. I am green. I'm in love. I play video games, like all the time. I'm addicted to the computer. I love my friends. I'm not a good person. I lie, and I am way too stubborn. I don't think before I speak. I actually DO care about Darfur. I want to help people. I love life. I have problems, and I know that. I won't tell you I understand if I don't. Life is hard, but people can make it easier. I believe that if we all did one good deed a day, everyone's lives would be easier. I want to make changes in the world for good. I can take you to another place, and point of view without meaning to. I do value the opinions of others. What you think about me DOES make a difference. I love animals. I love one-of-a-kind jewelry. I'm easy to please, and easy to piss off. Get to know me. Oh, and I'm Jewish. I know who I am. You don't need to tell me. I'm not a good person, I constantly cut down everything other people say, I have an arrogant air to me, and I think I know everything. I'm trying to change. So, please, let me take it a day at a time, and stop telling me how terrible I am. I can't take it anymore. K THANKS BYE.