Saturday, October 6
There's a hole in my heart, where you used to be.

Currently Listening To- It's Getting Hot in Herre by Jenny Owen Youngs.

I've been noticing more and more that I really love not having a life, but in not having much of a life, I'm not finding everything I want. I truly hate being single, it makes me feel very empty, but, with the way things are, I just haven't found the kind of guy I'm looking for, I mean...finding guys isn't too hard right? Especially ones who are liberal-democratic, intelligent, witty, play video games, are open minded, love apple picking, and obscure movies. Who will listen to indie music with me and get intimate without 'getting intimate'. I mean, really how hard it is to find a guy who is prominent in the arts and has a passion for preforming like I do? I'm really starting to think, that there isn't a guy out there for me, but maybe that's just because I'm too picky. I mean, my list of what I want is wrong, and I can't have a guy who is a republican, that just wouldn't work. Have you ever imagined your dream guy/girl? Well, I want a guy who will make my perfect guy look like nothing.

I'm still missing Darlington terribly, and not so much the school, as I have said many a time, but the people there. It's not healthy my head driven obsession. There is a hole in my heart where the people there once were and I'm not sure how to fill that hole, or if I can.


Oh yeah, and the cute factor in a guy wouldn't hurt either.

On a lighter paper note, I went over to Rose's house tonight. It was very fun I might add. We walked to SavOn and played DDR while Jon cranked out a bunch or random internet jokes.

Speaking of Jon, aiguhaslkdjhglkasdjylkgasjhg. Yeah, that's exactly it, aiguhaslkdjhglkasdjylkgasjhg.



I love this quotation.
"When it occurs to man that nature does not regard him as important, and that she feels that she would not maim the universe by disposing of him, he at first wishes to throw bricks at the temple, and he hates deeply the fact that there are no bricks and no temples"
-Stephen Crane, The Open Boat

Mainly, because I find it to be deeply true.



"Sometimes we're not all destined for happiness. Some people will never find it in all their lives, because their too caught up in trying to help other people find their's. Some people are just here to help others, and that's who I am. That's who I will be, and there is nothing wrong with that. Nothing."

11:41 PM

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About Me

I'm Bonnie. I'm a lover and a fighter. I have trust issues. I love to have fun. I am not quite up to par in anything. Oh, well. I'll try /almost/ anything at least once. I can't swim well. I love music. I love the smell of books. I am green. I'm in love. I play video games, like all the time. I'm addicted to the computer. I love my friends. I'm not a good person. I lie, and I am way too stubborn. I don't think before I speak. I actually DO care about Darfur. I want to help people. I love life. I have problems, and I know that. I won't tell you I understand if I don't. Life is hard, but people can make it easier. I believe that if we all did one good deed a day, everyone's lives would be easier. I want to make changes in the world for good. I can take you to another place, and point of view without meaning to. I do value the opinions of others. What you think about me DOES make a difference. I love animals. I love one-of-a-kind jewelry. I'm easy to please, and easy to piss off. Get to know me. Oh, and I'm Jewish. I know who I am. You don't need to tell me. I'm not a good person, I constantly cut down everything other people say, I have an arrogant air to me, and I think I know everything. I'm trying to change. So, please, let me take it a day at a time, and stop telling me how terrible I am. I can't take it anymore. K THANKS BYE.