Saturday, January 26
Boderline.

Currently Listening to Jacksonville by Sufjan Stevens

Lately, I've been finding myself more and more irritable than the day before. I find myself perpetually pissed off and hating most [not all] people around me. Littler things I once found great joy in now make my soul ache. Music has been making my head hurt, people have been pissing me off, video games have no longer been holding my interest, and books have become boring to me. The sad and terrible thing is that all of this has happened in a matter of two days. One meaningful thing being taken away can change everything in your life.

For a long time I had been looking forward to making my trip to Georgia over February break.Yes, it doesn't seem like it should be a big deal, but there are so many loose ties I was looking forward to tying up, and so many people I wanted to see. The reason I'm not allowed to go is because my parents don't want me to want to stay there when I go back, but I know I will want to. Apparently they know this too, but I was so much happier there than I am here. Granted one very great thing has happened to me since I can home, but still, I don't feel complete here.

This is so emo, and so ghey sounding, but I feel like I'm dying inside a little more everyday. My heart aches day by day, more and more, and I can't help but cry when I wake up in the morning, wondering why, why I am here.



On a happier note, last night was amazing. I won't go into details, but OH MY GOD, it was good.


I have dramatic mood swings. It's terrible, I can't stand feeling this way. It...hurts....



**and you never knew...

11:24 PM

5 Comments:

  • bonnie im sorry about the way you feel. i wish you werent so depressed. i love you and i hope that this will only be for a short time. i love you forever. hey gurl hey.


    ~Adam =/ <3

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 26, 2008 at 11:52 PM  

  • Hey bud. you will be alright. we will talk later. last night on the phone was no big deal for me to talk. i will see you soon hopefuly. i love you bonnie.

    that guy that smells like Pery Ellis 360 Blue

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 27, 2008 at 8:49 AM  

  • =D

    By Blogger Bomber, at January 27, 2008 at 1:03 PM  

  • The mood thing is probably just the seasons. There's a name for that, where everyone gets in a funk in the winter.

    By Blogger Clive Dangerously, at January 29, 2008 at 9:50 PM  

  • Lack of melatonin?
    On a happier note, at least you listen to Sufjan Stevens. This receives bonus points in my book.

    I believe we're F-book friends. Thus the random comments here.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 2, 2008 at 1:32 AM  

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About Me

I'm Bonnie. I'm a lover and a fighter. I have trust issues. I love to have fun. I am not quite up to par in anything. Oh, well. I'll try /almost/ anything at least once. I can't swim well. I love music. I love the smell of books. I am green. I'm in love. I play video games, like all the time. I'm addicted to the computer. I love my friends. I'm not a good person. I lie, and I am way too stubborn. I don't think before I speak. I actually DO care about Darfur. I want to help people. I love life. I have problems, and I know that. I won't tell you I understand if I don't. Life is hard, but people can make it easier. I believe that if we all did one good deed a day, everyone's lives would be easier. I want to make changes in the world for good. I can take you to another place, and point of view without meaning to. I do value the opinions of others. What you think about me DOES make a difference. I love animals. I love one-of-a-kind jewelry. I'm easy to please, and easy to piss off. Get to know me. Oh, and I'm Jewish. I know who I am. You don't need to tell me. I'm not a good person, I constantly cut down everything other people say, I have an arrogant air to me, and I think I know everything. I'm trying to change. So, please, let me take it a day at a time, and stop telling me how terrible I am. I can't take it anymore. K THANKS BYE.